Simple solution, won't happen
Spokane has roared into fire season.

As usual, many brush fires are started by railroad hot boxes. A solvable problem that isn't going to be solved.

As usual, a lot of fires in buildings AND forests are started by transients. Probably not solvable.

As usual, a few fires are caused by pure fire-loving arsonists. Probably not solvable.

As usual, some fires are started by idiot kids lighting fireworks, or idiot adults who think a hot windy day is the perfect time to burn some trash or weld a boat trailer. Has been partly solved. Laws have made a big difference, but I suspect we've reached the asymptotic minimum of idiots. Possible solution: "Shooting a firestarter counts as self-defense." Won't happen.

Two BIG SERIOUS fires have been started by cigarettes on apartment balconies.

The first one was dramatic but not hugely damaging: A downtown high-rise appeared to be a towering inferno, but turned out to be a fire on one balcony. Caused by putting out a cigarette in a potted plant. Because the building is steel and concrete, only the balcony and one room had 'cosmetic' damage.

Yesterday an entire 8-unit building was destroyed by the same start. Cigarette in potted plant. This one was a wooden building with vinyl siding. Nuff said.

Solution: Reverse present laws, require people to smoke INSIDE instead of OUTSIDE.

Won't happen. We'll continue to lose massive amounts of property and lives to serve the idiot puritans.

= = = = =

Few days later: We're having an epidemic of fires, some of which do real damage. EXACTLY ZERO of these fires are natural, because there hasn't been any wind or lightning. EXACTLY ALL of these fires are caused by the above categories of fuckheads. EXACTLY ALL of these fuckheads need to be shot on sight. Fifty years of public fire-torture would be more suitable (and a wonderfully profitable reality TV show) but too expensive. Just shoot them.

Labels: Heimatkunde

  ¶ 6:21 AM