Thursday, June 30, 2016
Shibbomark
A sadist in the Everett area is leaving tennis ball bombs scattered around, apparently hoping to explode a dog. Police are warning people with the usual clumsy cop-talk phrasing:
If you think you have come across such a device, proceed with caution and contact your local authorities immediately.
Proceed with caution? Contact local authorities?
Those are like shelter in place meaning STAY INSIDE.
I tried to rewrite it mentally, then realized my rewriting contains a warning that ISN'T NEEDED now, a warning that shows my Unperson-ness.
My more direct version would have been:
Don't touch it. Remember or mark the location, then go and call the police.
Now the part about Marking is unnecessary because everybody has their phone in hand all the time.
I'm not everybody. I'm nobody. I've never owned or handled a Portable Cellular Telephonic Device. So I assumed the old way of using phones. Unperson. Negative Externality. Marked for extermination.
Labels: Age of Stings
¶ 12:42 AM
