Friday, February 06, 2015
Not quite bumper-sticker
I've been wonderfully distant from "party" politics for three years now, ever since I unplugged the TV. I hear these mysterious words BENGHAZI KOCH BENGHAZI KOCH BENGHAZI KOCH flying back and forth, and I have no fucking idea what they mean. Empty sequences of phonemes.
Still, every now and then I can see a small advantage in choosing one Goldman brand over the other.
Here's one. Today another of those idiot CIA-driven "hikers", who was "trying to help the Syrians", inevitably got killed by CIA-controlled "enemy" forces in a thoroughly real CIA-coded videogame.
If those "hikers" were less idiotic, they would realize they are not helping anyone. Humanitarian aid is another name for logistical support. By providing medicine and food, the "hikers" are enabling one "side" to keep fighting. They are expanding and extending the war. They are murderers.
So here's a slogan: If you want this to stop, vote for Jeb.
Of course Jeb won't stop the war. He will be President, which means he will diligently perform the post-1989 job of President. He will destroy the world and commit national suicide and infinitely enrich Goldman. He will invade and bomb and occupy every place that dares to insult The Holy And Radiant Image Of Our Prophet Bibi Netanyahu [pbuh][pbuh][pbuh][pbuh].
But one small thing will be different. Idiot fuckheads who "want to help the Syrian or Libyan or Iraqi people" will not be "hiking" to those places. Those idiots are loyal Democrats, and they are "hiking" now because the current President has a D on his shirt and melanin in his skin. When the President has an R on his shirt and a Bush in his name, those same idiots will be protesting instead of "helping". Wars will be slightly shorter and slightly less lethal.
¶ 4:21 PM 
Still, every now and then I can see a small advantage in choosing one Goldman brand over the other.
Here's one. Today another of those idiot CIA-driven "hikers", who was "trying to help the Syrians", inevitably got killed by CIA-controlled "enemy" forces in a thoroughly real CIA-coded videogame.
If those "hikers" were less idiotic, they would realize they are not helping anyone. Humanitarian aid is another name for logistical support. By providing medicine and food, the "hikers" are enabling one "side" to keep fighting. They are expanding and extending the war. They are murderers.
So here's a slogan: If you want this to stop, vote for Jeb.
Of course Jeb won't stop the war. He will be President, which means he will diligently perform the post-1989 job of President. He will destroy the world and commit national suicide and infinitely enrich Goldman. He will invade and bomb and occupy every place that dares to insult The Holy And Radiant Image Of Our Prophet Bibi Netanyahu [pbuh][pbuh][pbuh][pbuh].
But one small thing will be different. Idiot fuckheads who "want to help the Syrian or Libyan or Iraqi people" will not be "hiking" to those places. Those idiots are loyal Democrats, and they are "hiking" now because the current President has a D on his shirt and melanin in his skin. When the President has an R on his shirt and a Bush in his name, those same idiots will be protesting instead of "helping". Wars will be slightly shorter and slightly less lethal.
¶ 4:21 PM
