Wednesday, May 01, 2019
London pays rent to the SunKing
Dateline: London, Airstrip 2. May 1, 2719
Every May 1 is called Mayday in London, for unknown reasons. For the last 700 years London has been conducting a mysterious ceremony on Mayday. The origin and meaning of the procedure are unknown. The ceremony is called Paying Rent To The SunKing.
On this great day, Portcullis Pursuivant, assisted by her deputy Chester Herald Of Arms, presents a tray carrying several mysterious objects to the GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT SunKing SOROS DCLXVI. The tray represents the constant and perpetual tribute and payment of RENT by Airstrip 2.
The mysterious objects on the tray are (1) The shrunken head of a miscreant named Faright, who was defeated by the Great May Queen on the Endless Mayday. (2) A Broken Orange Trumpet. (3) A Bent Silver Horseshoe with a crosspiece in the middle. If these latter two objects ever had any purpose, it has been lost in the perpetual snow and ice of Global Warming.
Portcullis and Chester stand in front of a stage set used only for this ceremony. The stage set represents a vertical object of unknown purpose, with an iron grid that seems to have been capable of moving downward, but has long since rusted in open position.
Portcullis and Chester are both wearing a ceremonial costume known as Reasonableness Pants, which signifies abject and total surrender. Portcullis cries out "Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!" in celebration of the Great Victory, and then hands the tray to the SunKing SOROS DCLXVI.
¶ 1:01 AM 
On this great day, Portcullis Pursuivant, assisted by her deputy Chester Herald Of Arms, presents a tray carrying several mysterious objects to the GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT SunKing SOROS DCLXVI. The tray represents the constant and perpetual tribute and payment of RENT by Airstrip 2.
The mysterious objects on the tray are (1) The shrunken head of a miscreant named Faright, who was defeated by the Great May Queen on the Endless Mayday. (2) A Broken Orange Trumpet. (3) A Bent Silver Horseshoe with a crosspiece in the middle. If these latter two objects ever had any purpose, it has been lost in the perpetual snow and ice of Global Warming.
Portcullis and Chester stand in front of a stage set used only for this ceremony. The stage set represents a vertical object of unknown purpose, with an iron grid that seems to have been capable of moving downward, but has long since rusted in open position.
Portcullis and Chester are both wearing a ceremonial costume known as Reasonableness Pants, which signifies abject and total surrender. Portcullis cries out "Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!" in celebration of the Great Victory, and then hands the tray to the SunKing SOROS DCLXVI.
¶ 1:01 AM
