Calling Lord Elon!
Speaking of crazy beyond crazy beyond crazy, and speaking of intentional but purposeless civilizational suicide:

London's airports are closed "for the duration" because a few little model airplanes have been seen. There's no way these little model airplanes could cause even the slightest problem for the real airplanes, but OUT OF AN ABUNDANCE OF CAUTION we must LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN and SHELTER IN PLACE until the "meaning" of these model airplanes can be investigated. We know, of course, that RUSSIAN_MEDDLING is responsible, but we still need a 10-year-long investigation to be sure all RUSSIAN_BOTS are found and EXTERMINATED before we can reopen the airport.

Modest proposal:

We need to invent a thing that can push out a thing with enough speed and force to disable the little model planes. Sort of like throwing a rock, but somehow more accurate and powerful. Sometime in the far distant future, some Elon-style genius may develop this better-than-rock thing.

Meanwhile, airports never shut down when a bird is seen. Hawks and pigeons are about the same size as these little model planes. Big birds CAN AND DO cause real airplanes to crash, because nobody has yet invented a thing that can go in front of the jet engine to keep birds out. Sometime in the far distant future, some Elon-style genius may find a way to put narrow things together in a sort of criss-cross pattern, to let air through but block birds.

Please, Lord Elon, hear our humble prayers! Take some time away from thy Holy Crack Pipe and honor us with these unprecedented inventions! We are unworthy of thine holy attention, but we supinely beg and petition thee for assistance in this our hour of need!

= = = = =

Later: Shit. Pulling out of my stupid failed satire, here's the latest REAL satire: The "British" "Army" has been called out and is now DISCUSSING how to deal with the situation. Discussing? Jesus. JUST SHOOT IT. You don't need fancy crap. Any duck or partridge hunter will have the right equipment and skills to take down a flying object without harming people or planes.

And this line from ZH, probably quoting some Brit newspaper:

In a scary preview of the disruptions that could soon become commonplace in our technology-infused future,

PREVIEW? TECH-INFUSED FUTURE? Radio-controlled model planes have been around for 70 years, and radio-controlled FULL-SIZE planes have been around for EXACTLY 100 years. This is PAST, not FUTURE. You don't need feasibility studies and research task forces. Just call a duck hunter.

As I noted here, we have CHOSEN to be totally helpless and totally paralyzed and totally DEAD. We have SURRENDERED all brainpower and will and LIFE. No previous collapsed civilization has VOLUNTARILY DEANIMATED ITSELF.

Labels: infinite infinite infinite infinite infinite infinite infinite INFINITE INFINITE INFINITE INFINITE INFINITE INFINITE INFINITE lunacy, modest proposal

  ¶ 3:45 AM