Thursday, April 26, 2018
Not a ship, not a lap
Headline at Babylon Bee:
Hobby Lobby Releases Line Of Shiplap Personally Anointed By Chip And Joanna Gaines
In a move to capture the rapidly burgeoning market for nailing barn wood to perfectly good interior walls, Hobby Lobby has released a new line of shiplap anointed by Chip and Joanna Gaines, the company confirmed Wednesday. “The Gaineses personally pray over and anoint with oil each and every piece of shiplap you purchase here at Hobby Lobby,” CEO David Green said in a press conference. “You can rest easy knowing that each and every person involved in the production, shipping, and sale of your shiplap is a believer.”Good parody as always, but the picture shows NON-LAPPED wood. Convective thought: Lapped siding is among the most important basic inventions. Lapping uses gravity to advantage, throwing rain outward, minimizing contact time of water and wood, preventing penetration of joints. Without the lap, you need serious caulking or weatherstripping or prayer at all joints. Unlike most basic inventions, lapping wasn't copied from obvious natural models. Trees and plants don't have any lapped parts, presumably because trees and plants want to absorb water. Mammalian hair uses layering to keep water out, but layering doesn't suggest lapping. The only non-microscopic examples are fish scales and armadillos, but neither uses the lap to shed water. Later thought: Fish and armadillos use lapping to form a hard surface that can bend, presumably to fend off the teeth of predators. I wonder if the first builders of armor were inspired by fish?
Labels: Patient things
¶ 9:33 AM
