Bong bong bong Why why why
It's the one-year anniversary of some school-shoot. We're all doing the BONG BONG BONG thing as always. Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Remembaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas! BONG! BONG! BONG! WHY? WHY? WHY?

Always asking WHY.

Why did Adam Lanza shoot up a school? Well, he's dead so you can't ask him. And if you could ask him, the answer wouldn't make any sense because he was crazy.

Better WHY: Why was the school so easy for him to shoot up? These incidents didn't happen 60 years ago when every crazy kid knew that every adult male had served in the Army, and many adult males carried a gun all the time and knew how to use it. In school, at home, everywhere. Does this suggest a fucking solution? No, of course not. Sanity is crazy. We'll just keep asking WHY.

Or another dumb question from the same dumb part of the country:

WHY did Superstorm Snooki destroy our beach house?

Well, you can't ask a storm, so you conclude that the storm was somehow guided and steered by Evil KKKarbon. This is utterly wacko, since East Coast hurricanes of equal strength have occurred roughly three times per century as long as we've been around to record them. The storms took various paths, so each coastal city was affected differently. If you want to blame KKKarbon for steering this particular storm to hit your particular house, you've got a mighty complex set of theories and mechanisms and epicycles to build.

Better WHY: Why did you build your house near a coast? If you're close enough to see tides, you're close enough to be smashed by tides. Guaranteed sooner or later. If you don't want to be destroyed by a tidal wave, build inland. No, of course not. Sanity is crazy. We'll just keep rebuilding in the same fucking place and keep charging the taxpayers for our losses.

Or another from today's news: A rockslide smashed a house that was built at the bottom of a cliff.

Exact quote from the sheriff:

"Just Mother Nature. Nothing you can do about it. House was right under the cliff."

NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT? WHY did Nature decide arbitrarily and randomly to smash this house? Well, you answered your own question. If the house hadn't been built at the base of the cliff, the rockslide wouldn't have damaged the house because there WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A FUCKING HOUSE THERE.

LESUS H. CHRIST.

Labels: Loughnerian Logic, Zero Problems

  ¶ 6:38 AM