Thursday, February 28, 2013
Another mystery cleared up!
This is a good day for explained mysteries!
Polistra has always been puzzled about the purpose of the Tesla electric car. In South Park terms, the Tesla business model appeared to be:
(1) Make a hugely expensive and completely unusable car that turns into a brick when you drive it.
(2) ???????
(3) Profit!
Now this article fills in the missing ?????? part.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk must be getting tired of fighting bad reviews of his cars. In 2011 Tesla sued the BBC’s ‘Top Gear’ over a segment where two of their roadsters allegedly broke down on the show’s test track. Musk defended his company once again this month on Bloomberg television. He claims a misleading New York Times review of the Tesla Model S cost Tesla $100 million.So, the true and complete business model is: (1) Make a hugely expensive and completely unusable car that turns into a brick when you drive it. (2) Sue everyone who figures out that the car is unusable. (3) Profit from court settlement! And as long as I'm being silly, let's repeat the Tesla Owner's Song: Oh give me a place where the wind turbines race, where the birds and the bats die and scream; where subsidies pay for my Latté Grandé, and the bursting dams kill human dreams. Home, home is my range, where the volts charge my batteries quick, I can quietly roam, thirty miles from my home, then my Tesla turns into a brick. ¶ 7:41 AM
