Sunday, May 16, 2010
It ain't about the environment
Polistra's Sixth Law: There are no 'unintended consequences'.
As the Soviet media/government conspiracy marches through its predictable steps toward halting all offshore drilling, the constant verbal purpose is to "protect the Delicate Fragile Planet, the Tragically Overheating Environment."
Even if they meant it, the goal is pure nonsense in the first place. The living Earth (which is presumably what "the environment" ought to mean) consists mainly of bacteria and algae. All of us visible critters, from fish to birds to humans, are mere utilities. We exist to provide public housing and mass transit for bacteria. Where does crude oil fit into the picture of bacteria and algae? Simple. It's algae poop and bacteria food. It's always flowing from the ocean floor in quantities vastly exceeding this particular human-caused flow. Where does it all go? Dinner for bacteria.
So we're not talking about an "unprecedented" poison, we're talking about a temporary surplus of a chemical that Nature (i.e. bacteria) enjoys.
More to the point of the Sixth Law: Ask what happens when American firms stop drilling in the Gulf. Will we be Pure And Clean, with our Beautiful Fragile Delicate Wetlands full of Pristine Fragile Delicate Alabaster Mosquitos carrying Pristine Fragile Delicate Alabaster Malaria Microbes, like they did in the Glorious Proletarian Camelot Times Of Yore? Will we finally be free of Blood For Oil? Free of Halliburton Bushitler Cheeeney?
Nope, we'll have MORE oil spills.
The OTHER COUNTRIES who are also drilling in the same area are less dainty, less suicidal, more virile, more rational than we are. China doesn't give a flying fuck about "the fragile delicate wetlands". Same goes for Cuba and Vietnam. When we pull out, they'll be more than happy to move in. (Hmm. China ... Cuba ... Vietnam .... we pull out, Commies move in ... all sounds familiar somehow. Can't quite place it ....)
Therefore: When Comrades Bush and Obama try to shut down offshore drilling, their goal has nothing to do with "the fragile delicate wetlands". Their goal is to kill America and let China own the world.
QED. ¶ 5:58 AM
As the Soviet media/government conspiracy marches through its predictable steps toward halting all offshore drilling, the constant verbal purpose is to "protect the Delicate Fragile Planet, the Tragically Overheating Environment."
Even if they meant it, the goal is pure nonsense in the first place. The living Earth (which is presumably what "the environment" ought to mean) consists mainly of bacteria and algae. All of us visible critters, from fish to birds to humans, are mere utilities. We exist to provide public housing and mass transit for bacteria. Where does crude oil fit into the picture of bacteria and algae? Simple. It's algae poop and bacteria food. It's always flowing from the ocean floor in quantities vastly exceeding this particular human-caused flow. Where does it all go? Dinner for bacteria.
So we're not talking about an "unprecedented" poison, we're talking about a temporary surplus of a chemical that Nature (i.e. bacteria) enjoys.
More to the point of the Sixth Law: Ask what happens when American firms stop drilling in the Gulf. Will we be Pure And Clean, with our Beautiful Fragile Delicate Wetlands full of Pristine Fragile Delicate Alabaster Mosquitos carrying Pristine Fragile Delicate Alabaster Malaria Microbes, like they did in the Glorious Proletarian Camelot Times Of Yore? Will we finally be free of Blood For Oil? Free of Halliburton Bushitler Cheeeney?
Nope, we'll have MORE oil spills.
The OTHER COUNTRIES who are also drilling in the same area are less dainty, less suicidal, more virile, more rational than we are. China doesn't give a flying fuck about "the fragile delicate wetlands". Same goes for Cuba and Vietnam. When we pull out, they'll be more than happy to move in. (Hmm. China ... Cuba ... Vietnam .... we pull out, Commies move in ... all sounds familiar somehow. Can't quite place it ....)
Therefore: When Comrades Bush and Obama try to shut down offshore drilling, their goal has nothing to do with "the fragile delicate wetlands". Their goal is to kill America and let China own the world.
QED. ¶ 5:58 AM
