Thursday, March 08, 2018
Missed the best part
Babylon Bee hits a pretty good triple, but fails to steal the PERFECTLY OPEN path to home:
In a move that puts into ink what most Americans have known for decades now, Governor Jerry Brown announced Wednesday that the State of California has voted to officially secede from reality. “This is just a formality, really. We’ve been in our own little world for some time now, as everybody knows,” “In any event, let it be known henceforth that the State of California categorically renounces all ties to so-called ‘reality,’ and will continue governing our people without any regard for objective facts, morality, or sanity.” At publishing time, rumors were swirling of a new motion to rename California “La La Land.”No need to rename California. The ACTUAL name is JUST FUCKING PERFECT ALREADY. From wikipedia:
California was the name given to a mythical island populated only by Black Amazon warriors who used gold tools and weapons in the popular early 16th-century romance novel Las Sergas de Esplandián (The Adventures of Esplandián) by Spanish author Garci Rodríguez de Montalvo. This popular Spanish novel was printed in several editions with the earliest surviving edition published about 1510. The novel described the Island of California as being east of the Asian mainland, "very close to the side of the Terrestrial Paradise; and it is peopled by black women, without any man among them, for they live in the manner of Amazons." The Island was ruled by Queen Calafia. When the Spanish started exploring the Pacific coast they applied this name to maps of what is now called the Baja California Peninsula, which they originally thought was an island. Once the name was on the maps it stuck.Can't beat reality with parody. ¶ 3:02 AM
