Logging idiocy
One of the third-string "biz talk" shows struck me as remarkably idiotic and empty. I had the impression that the show consisted largely of one sound effect, the boxing ring. This morning I decided to log it minute by minute in old SWL style, to check my impression. Probably should have started at the top of an hour, but this is when I happened to start, and this is all I could stand.



= = = = =

LOG

2:23 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:24 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:25 football music
2:26 olympic music
2:27 unidentified rock music with hosts laughing hysterically
2:28 montage from Reefer Madness with hosts laughing hysterically
2:29 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:30 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:31-34 ads that repeat the same 800 number 800 times
2:35 heavy metal theme noise
2:36 heavy metal theme noise
2:37 no sfx, just hysterical laughter
2:38 no sfx, just talking
2:39 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:40 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah, boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:41 no sfx, just talking
2:42 rimshot
2:43 crickets
2:44 no sfx, just hysterical laughter
2:45 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:46-51 ads that repeat the same 800 number 800 times
2:52 heavy metal theme noise plus bonus loud belching
2:53 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah, boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:54 discussing the finer points of Oreos and emojis
2:55 discussing the finer points of Oreos and emojis
2:56 olympic music plus hysterical laughter
2:57 olympic music plus hysterical laughter
2:58 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah
2:59 boxing ring clang clang clang raaaaah

= = = = =

Not quite exclusively boxing-ring but pretty damn close. In 37 minutes, 12 hits on the clang clang. Exactly 4 minutes of talking with no music or sfx. As far as I could tell, NONE of the talking was about business or IPOs or investment opportunities. Despite this, the show was preceded by the usual audio fine print about "not intended as investment advice".... Come to think of it, the fine print was exactly literally correct.

What's the purpose of this barrage of vapidity? Only one possible explanation. This was government surplus. Produced under a CIA contract for torture Muzak, declassified and released because of excess efficiency. The test subjects went into permanent convulsions and were unable to spill their knowledge.

= = = = =

Well, what about the first-class "biz talk" shows? Nationally known programs that make actual recommendations, so that the fine print is appropriately sneaky? Their hourly output is much more sophisticated and refined, much less repetitive.

For any hour of the day, the top-notch money-talk programs run as follows:

LOG

xx:00 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:01 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:02 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:03 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:04 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:05 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:06 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:07 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:08 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:09 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:10 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:11 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:12 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:13 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:14 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:15 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:16 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:17 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:18 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:19 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:20 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:21 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:22 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:23 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:24 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:25 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:26 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:27 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:28 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:29 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:30 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:31 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:32 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:33 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:34 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:35 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:36 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:37 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:38 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:39 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:40 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:41 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:42 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:43 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:44 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:45 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:46 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:47 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:48 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:49 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:50 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:51 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:52 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:53 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:54 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:55 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:56 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:57 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:58 Buy AMZN!!!
xx:59 Buy AMZN!!!

  ¶ 3:08 AM