Thursday, August 04, 2016
Good old seven-second rule
Polistra's seven-second rule: When you tune into a radio program, you know what it's about in seven seconds. You don't need to go beyond. Repooflican radio (at least before this year): Seven seconds to Benghazi. Dem radio: Seven seconds to Koch Brothers. BBC: Seven seconds to LGBT. NPR: Seven seconds to Selma.
The funniest current parody website is Babylon Bee. They catch the seven-second-ness of various evangelists and predictable church types, without mocking religion itself.
One recent feature mocks an Oprahish female evangelist named Ann Voskamp.
Ann Voskamp, author of the immensely popular One Thousand Gifts, spoke to a packed house last night at the Passionate Borderless Empowered Frontiers Without Borders Conference through her recently-hired translator, who is fluent in Voskamp-to-English. “Fan flame,” Voskamp urged the audience in a loud whisper. “Fan it in the gloaming, to the redolent glockenspiel, with Paris askance. Wildly, a laughing womb, a reflection in nuzzling. Proceed from a place of salubrious reticence. Gather, but forefend.”Can't be that bad. Can it? I'm not familiar with Voskamp, so I 'tuned in' to the first Youtube clip I could find. Seven seconds: "A pulsing joy. A bird. Daily tasks." Yes, it can be that bad. The parody was only 10% stretched. ¶ 11:01 AM
