Trying for the Ig
Via RCS, this little piece of research is clearly aiming for the IgNobel, not the Nobel.

In other words, this study is GOOD science. Done on a small budget, achieving a possibly useful result, and written up with humility. GOOD science.

Nobels are awarded for psychotic delusions, utter vile corruption, infinite falsehood, and feral genocide. SATANIC science.

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The study tries to measure the alcohol preferences of cute 'prosimians' like lemurs and lorises. Result: they love booze. (What mammal doesn't?)

This paragraph is just beautiful:

The position of the liquids was randomized and behavioral data were collected blind to the contents, to avoid observational bias. Each of the two aye-ayes participated in a trial once a day for 15 days for a total of 30 trials. The slow loris participated in a trial each day over five days for a total of five trials, as time was limited.

Understated language, but you can imagine the process vividly. "Damn, loris, I just know you're going to take a whole hour to select the liquid, another hour to pick up the tube, and another hour to drink it. Come on! Hurry up! Hurry up! I need to get this study done before my grandchildren get their PhDs! I've already given up on getting mine. Oh shit. Now he's drunk and he's going to take TWO hours for each stage! AAAACCK!"

Seriously, the question is somewhat misplaced. Mammals are lushes. I don't see much point in asking why one mammal plasters easier than another.

Flowering and fruiting plants are the newbies in this scenario. They developed AFTER the habits and preferences of insects were already set in genetic cement.

So the more important evolutionary questions are: How did plants and yeasts start collaborating to make alcohol? How did they mutually learn that seeds and spores are more attractive when animals wear beer goggles? Why did animals love alcohol before plants and yeasts conspired to make alcohol?

As usual, the only non-contradictory answer is that the whole system was designed in one piece.


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Correction after watching some loris videos: Lorises aren't really slow. They're just cautious. I was conflating them with sloths, which are genuinely SSSLLLLLOOOOOWWWW.

Labels: Asked and unanswered, Grand Blueprint

  ¶ 2:43 PM