Thursday, June 18, 2015
Not fast enough, Timmy boy
via Engadget:
The Unicode Consortium unveiled its new emoji set as part of the standard's version 8.0 update on Wednesday. Yes, that taco emoji we've all been waiting for on bated breath has arrived and lo, it is glorious. Other food-related icons include taco's big brother, the burrito, as well as a hot dog, popcorn and a cheese wedge. Inedible emoji like a Unicorn head, prayer beads and a volleyball are also available. In all, 37 new icons (41 if you count the five skin color modifiers) made it past the consortium's stringent vetting process. You can check out the full list, which will eventually make their way into your mobile device's keyboard. While Apple already jumped ahead and put the skin color modifiers in iOS and OS X, it hasn't updated with the rest of 8.0's emoji changes, and neither have Android or Windows.Whoopsie! Insanity got ahead of Timmy! He/she tried to jump ahead of the trend, but the trend already beat her/him. It's NO LONGER GOOD ENOUGH to have five constant skin color emoji. Now we need a variable skin color emoji with Schrödinger characteristics. The color depends on context. If the emoji is trying to get into a high-prestige text, it becomes ebony black. If it's trying to become Untouchable and lose all possible functionality, it becomes stark paper white. But the visible color also depends on the status and au courantness of the observer. If it's being read by Max Courants like Prophet Timmy Cook or Prophet Alphonse Sharpton Junior or Prophet Michael Mann or Antichrist Francine, it's accurate. But if it's being read by a ONE-TOOTH HONKY DENIALIST like me, it burns the DENIALIST'S retina and then loopbacks a signal to Apple Central informing the Die-Versity Police of a HATE READ. ¶ 1:10 AM
