To have
"Local" news just interviewed some young dude who had been camping for three days in front of the Apple store so he could be the first to purchase some new telephone thing. He was wildly enthusiastic: "It has 423b43.64zm6456 XRT! And P2059.440737-Ti97 Glapenstrake! Fits perfectly with Verizon's new Spitarklit 65.76! IT'S THE PHONE TO HAVE!"

I probably didn't copy those numbers and tech terms correctly, but that's not the point. IT'S THE PHONE TO HAVE! is the point.



I don't understand any of that.

I have a phone. It is not THE PHONE TO HAVE, but it is THE PHONE THAT I HAVE. Why do I have it? Because it has a modern non-rotary dial, and a handset with microphone and earphone. It has one special feature that I really appreciate: a ringer switch so I can leave it turned off 99.9999% of the time. (Before phones came with this feature, I had to wire up a ringer switch outside the phone, which Ma Bell didn't like.) It even has two features that I don't need: Redial and Hold. Best of all, it's heavy enough to hold down the piece of paper that I use as a 'coaster' under the coffeecup.

In short, this is a thoroughly HAVE-WORTHY phone, and I HAVE IT. I have been HAVING IT for 24 years, and never felt the need to HAVE a newer edition. What more could you want? It's beyond me.

= = = = =

Later note: The first automatic update on THE PHONE TO HAVE turned it into a non-phone. "Eliminated voice service", as Apple delicately put it. So THE PHONE TO HAVE is now THE RECTANGLE TO HAVE .... provided you don't do anything improper like put it in your pocket. After that it becomes THE BROKEN RECTANGLE TO HAVE.

Conclusion: Apple is a church, not a business. Only a church can sell a pocket-size phone that doesn't work as a phone and can't be put in a pocket. This object is more like a prayer cloth than a telephone.
  ¶ 7:28 AM