Saturday, February 08, 2014
Did the ocean rise before Gaia punished our sins?
All modern discussions of sea level assume as an unstated axiom that the ocean started rising when the Goddess decided to manifest Her Holy Displeasure at the Infinite Sins Of Civilization.
Since all Scientists now understand this axiomatic fact, we can safely assume that Scientists before the Fall observed a perfectly static ocean that maintained a perfectly stable level.
Let's look at an example of Scientific Reasoning from the 1919 Scientific American, which is now and always has been the Perfect Repository of Scientific Reasoning:
WHAT? NO! NO! NO! THIS CANNOT BE! These supposed "scientists" claimed to "observe" that "a universal rise of ocean level has recently taken place!" They're using recent in the geological sense, meaning "since the last glaciation".
What's more, they claimed to "observe" that volcanic islands were in a constant state of rising and falling, which meant that the sea level measured on any island depended more on the current activity of magma under the island than on overall average of the ocean. NO! NO! NO! THIS CANNOT BE! We all know that the Holy Angelic Doomed Maldive Islands are the Drowning Canary in the Flooded Coal Mine! All islands are universally fixed points with no conceivable variation! All are Doomed Doomed Doomed unless the human race abolishes itself NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In 1919, George W. Bushitlerhalliburton hadn't even been born, so there was no reason for Gaia's Fiery Vengeance. These alleged "scientists" of 1919 must have been charlatans paid by some Bush precursor, knowing full well that the evil spawn would need a cover story! Yes! That's the only possible explanation!
WHAT? NO! NO! NO! THIS CANNOT BE! These supposed "scientists" claimed to "observe" that "a universal rise of ocean level has recently taken place!" They're using recent in the geological sense, meaning "since the last glaciation".
What's more, they claimed to "observe" that volcanic islands were in a constant state of rising and falling, which meant that the sea level measured on any island depended more on the current activity of magma under the island than on overall average of the ocean. NO! NO! NO! THIS CANNOT BE! We all know that the Holy Angelic Doomed Maldive Islands are the Drowning Canary in the Flooded Coal Mine! All islands are universally fixed points with no conceivable variation! All are Doomed Doomed Doomed unless the human race abolishes itself NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In 1919, George W. Bushitlerhalliburton hadn't even been born, so there was no reason for Gaia's Fiery Vengeance. These alleged "scientists" of 1919 must have been charlatans paid by some Bush precursor, knowing full well that the evil spawn would need a cover story! Yes! That's the only possible explanation!Labels: Carbon Cult, Metrology
¶ 4:59 AM
