Monday, August 06, 2012
Hansen's brilliance
To all appearances, James Hansen seems to be a fully wacked-out psychopathic sadistic blood-loving hypergenocidal madman who has already caused thousands of deaths by starvation and freezing, and who has permanently destroyed entire national economies to satisfy his infinite power fetish.
Ah, but appearances are deceiving. I've finally sussed out what Hansen is doing. He's creating a Grand Synthesis Of Quantum Climatology. A Unified Pseudotheory Of Everything.
He has brilliantly mixed Heisenberg and Heatwaves, Schrodinger and Storms, Dirac and Droughts, Feynman and Floods.
By Hansen's ingenious new formulation, weather phenomena do not exist unless James Hansen observes them and describes them.
Previously we believed that thousands of droughts had occurred through history, and that most of them were longer and deeper than this year's drought. Not so! Hansen was not in Oklahoma in 1955, therefore no drought occurred there. Hansen was not alive in 1934, therefore the Dust Bowl did not happen. The many "lean years" mentioned in the Old Testament and other historical documents simply did not happen.
Previously we believed that hurricanes and tornadoes had declined in frequency. Not so! Certifiable And Peer-Reviewed Climatologists tell us that only this year's hurricanes and tornadoes occurred, therefore the frequency is infinitely increasing.
Previously we believed that deadly blizzards had occurred every year in some part of the world. Not so! Only this year's blizzards occur, because only this year's blizzards are under Hansen's microscope.
Nature and logic are easy for an infantile lunatic. I see it, therefore it exists.
Ah, but appearances are deceiving. I've finally sussed out what Hansen is doing. He's creating a Grand Synthesis Of Quantum Climatology. A Unified Pseudotheory Of Everything.
He has brilliantly mixed Heisenberg and Heatwaves, Schrodinger and Storms, Dirac and Droughts, Feynman and Floods.
By Hansen's ingenious new formulation, weather phenomena do not exist unless James Hansen observes them and describes them.
Previously we believed that thousands of droughts had occurred through history, and that most of them were longer and deeper than this year's drought. Not so! Hansen was not in Oklahoma in 1955, therefore no drought occurred there. Hansen was not alive in 1934, therefore the Dust Bowl did not happen. The many "lean years" mentioned in the Old Testament and other historical documents simply did not happen.
Previously we believed that hurricanes and tornadoes had declined in frequency. Not so! Certifiable And Peer-Reviewed Climatologists tell us that only this year's hurricanes and tornadoes occurred, therefore the frequency is infinitely increasing.
Previously we believed that deadly blizzards had occurred every year in some part of the world. Not so! Only this year's blizzards occur, because only this year's blizzards are under Hansen's microscope.
Nature and logic are easy for an infantile lunatic. I see it, therefore it exists.
Labels: Blinded by Stats, Carbon Cult
¶ 4:59 AM
