We need a Reagan, but not that way....
We grind through yet another episode of unspeakable lunacy in Afghanistan. Some brainless idiot with zero understanding of religion decided to burn some Korans publicly instead of secretly.

In the first place, how does any trash-burning operation go public? Even in ordinary homes and businesses without hundreds of highly-paid Blackhawk security specialists on board, it's perfectly easy to get something into the trash without being observed.

Nobody takes things out to the trash, waves them around and shouts "I'm discarding my porn!" or "I'm tossing a Bible!" or "I'm throwing away some old cabbage!"

Here's the mysterious arcane secret: BAGS. These are soft containers made of plastic or paper, which prevent people from seeing objects placed inside the container.

Polistra and Happystar demonstrate this ferociously complex ultra-high-tech method, so that our milifairy specialists might learn how to perform it after several months of study and several years of feasibility task-forces:



In the second place, there's plenty of history for occupying forces in Afghanistan. Britain learned the lesson, Russia learned the lesson. We could have figured out in 2001 that it wasn't going to work, and lots of people ... even inside our government ... tried to explain that it wasn't going to work. No, we're fucking EXCEPTIONAL. God is on our side, and everything we do, no matter how fucking stupid, is guaranteed to work because we're fucking EXCEPTIONAL.

Again Polistra and Happystar have created a brief 'training film' to assist our milifairy in understanding the strategic steps necessary to solve this problem:




When Russia was going through the same End-Stage Cultural And Governmental Alzheimer's in the 1980s, Reagan came along to mercifully pull the plug. Russia finally had to stop fucking around in Afghanistan, had to stop being EXCEPTIONAL.

Who will do for us what Reagan did for Russia? Who will pull the plug on this atrocious comatose wacked-out miserable excuse of a country?

Putin? Perhaps operating indirectly through Persia?

I just hope it happens soon. We may or may not fall into chaos. Most likely we won't, because we still have non-Alzheimer governments in a few states, and we have a long English history of self-organization. Our people are somewhat less likely to run completely wild without an iron hand on top.
  ¶ 5:03 AM