Sunday, February 19, 2012
Plots
IPR ran a cute feature tonight on William Wallace Cook, a pulp writer in the '20s who churned out one novel a week. Cook served his profession by writing a book of plots, with 1462 instant plots ready to boil up into potboilers. Just add overwrought prose to taste.
Modern TV writers don't need such a book. They only have one plot, which serves equally well for every "drama" and "comedy" and "news" show.
= = = = =
Plot LGBTQQRSTUVWXYZ:
A bunch of Jewish Communist Homosexual New Yorkers sit around in a New York scene talking about subjects of interest to Jewish Communist Homosexual New Yorkers.
During the half hour, each Jewish Communist Homosexual New Yorker must utter at least five (5) snide bitchy hateful ignorant bigoted false libelous violence-inducing statements against EACH of the following subjects:
1. Heterosexuals
2. White people
3. Southerners
4. Midwesterners
5. Christians
6. Soldiers
7. Republicans
8. Global Warming "deniers"
9. Evolution "deniers"
10. George W. Bush
The synthetic audience must make the same prolonged synthetic EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sound, as of some monstrous machine running without oil, and the same synthetic standing ovation in response to each statement.
= = = = =
(I haven't watched TV in a couple years, so I'm not sure about the George W. Bush topic ... I suspect Bush may have been dropped from the list now that Obama is beating the pants off Bush in the supposedly evil skills of killing terrorists and increasing oil production. Best not to mention the whole subject; might confuse the masses.) ¶ 5:09 PM
Modern TV writers don't need such a book. They only have one plot, which serves equally well for every "drama" and "comedy" and "news" show.
= = = = =
Plot LGBTQQRSTUVWXYZ:
A bunch of Jewish Communist Homosexual New Yorkers sit around in a New York scene talking about subjects of interest to Jewish Communist Homosexual New Yorkers.
During the half hour, each Jewish Communist Homosexual New Yorker must utter at least five (5) snide bitchy hateful ignorant bigoted false libelous violence-inducing statements against EACH of the following subjects:
1. Heterosexuals
2. White people
3. Southerners
4. Midwesterners
5. Christians
6. Soldiers
7. Republicans
8. Global Warming "deniers"
9. Evolution "deniers"
10. George W. Bush
The synthetic audience must make the same prolonged synthetic EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sound, as of some monstrous machine running without oil, and the same synthetic standing ovation in response to each statement.
= = = = =
(I haven't watched TV in a couple years, so I'm not sure about the George W. Bush topic ... I suspect Bush may have been dropped from the list now that Obama is beating the pants off Bush in the supposedly evil skills of killing terrorists and increasing oil production. Best not to mention the whole subject; might confuse the masses.) ¶ 5:09 PM
