Monday, August 22, 2011
Daggers
The dude in front of me at Safeway this morning was a tall 25-year-old. Looked healthy but somehow out of phase. He bought a gallon of milk and a big box of donuts, and started talking to the cashier lady in a slowed-down Valium voice. Like a 45 record played at 33.
33 RPM Dude: "Times are tough."
Cashier Lady: "Yup."
33 RPM Dude: "Lost a thousand dollars yesterday."
Cashier Lady: "Betting?"
33 RPM Dude: "Yup. Kids need food. Times are tough."
Cashier Lady said nothing at all, but her face shouted at 120 dB:
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT. YOU'RE BARELY MAKING IT, YOUR KIDS NEED FOOD, AND YOU HAD THE GALL TO BET $1000?????? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Needless to say, 33 RPM Dude didn't notice the non-verbal shout.
33 RPM Dude said: "Hey, who's this Jerry on the sign there? Is that Jerry Lewis?"
Enough. ¶ 12:39 PM
33 RPM Dude: "Times are tough."
Cashier Lady: "Yup."
33 RPM Dude: "Lost a thousand dollars yesterday."
Cashier Lady: "Betting?"
33 RPM Dude: "Yup. Kids need food. Times are tough."
Cashier Lady said nothing at all, but her face shouted at 120 dB:
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT. YOU'RE BARELY MAKING IT, YOUR KIDS NEED FOOD, AND YOU HAD THE GALL TO BET $1000?????? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Needless to say, 33 RPM Dude didn't notice the non-verbal shout.
33 RPM Dude said: "Hey, who's this Jerry on the sign there? Is that Jerry Lewis?"
Enough. ¶ 12:39 PM
