Monday, June 06, 2011
So that's what he's doing!
Still trying to figure out what Mitt is doing. Finally got it.
He's going after McCain voters.
His basic appeal is as follows:
If you like everything Obama is doing but hate what he says while he's doing it, I'm your man!
You like thousands of new health regulations granting complete monopoly to a few insurance companies? I'll give you millions!
You like having jobs handed to illegal immigrants and Chinese? I'll let even more Mexicans in, and I'll surrender to China even faster!
You like having the economy stolen and stuffed into the Swiss bank accounts of obscenely rich Jews? I'll steal and stuff even faster!
You like endless pointless stalemated wars in countries that didn't attack us? I'll give you even more wars, and I'll make them last a thousand years!
You like the jackboots of the marauding enemy army EPA stomping your necks? I'll stomp even harder, and my jackboots will be much more stylish and expensive than Lisa Jackson's jackboots! Fine ostrich leather, platinum cleats!
Your only problem with Obama is that he says such horrid true things on occasion. He sometimes diagnoses America's problems correctly while he's prescribing poison.
My guarantee: I won't say anything true! When I poison you, I'll say bizarrely insane things like "USA! USA! USA! We're number one! We're number one! We're number one! Best health care in the world! Best education in the world! Most freedom in the world! Shining city on the hill! Moral exemplar to the world! The fundamentals of the economy are Robust! We're EXCEPTIONAL!"
Same great strychnine taste, new trendy container! ¶ 2:04 AM
He's going after McCain voters.
His basic appeal is as follows:
If you like everything Obama is doing but hate what he says while he's doing it, I'm your man!
You like thousands of new health regulations granting complete monopoly to a few insurance companies? I'll give you millions!
You like having jobs handed to illegal immigrants and Chinese? I'll let even more Mexicans in, and I'll surrender to China even faster!
You like having the economy stolen and stuffed into the Swiss bank accounts of obscenely rich Jews? I'll steal and stuff even faster!
You like endless pointless stalemated wars in countries that didn't attack us? I'll give you even more wars, and I'll make them last a thousand years!
You like the jackboots of the marauding enemy army EPA stomping your necks? I'll stomp even harder, and my jackboots will be much more stylish and expensive than Lisa Jackson's jackboots! Fine ostrich leather, platinum cleats!
Your only problem with Obama is that he says such horrid true things on occasion. He sometimes diagnoses America's problems correctly while he's prescribing poison.
My guarantee: I won't say anything true! When I poison you, I'll say bizarrely insane things like "USA! USA! USA! We're number one! We're number one! We're number one! Best health care in the world! Best education in the world! Most freedom in the world! Shining city on the hill! Moral exemplar to the world! The fundamentals of the economy are Robust! We're EXCEPTIONAL!"
Same great strychnine taste, new trendy container! ¶ 2:04 AM
