Thursday, November 18, 2010
Ghailani
As long as we're running wars through the court system now, we really shouldn't start arbitrarily at 1998. First we need to take care of a LONG backlog of "due process" that we failed to provide during all those centuries when we were mistakenly and non-progressively fighting wars with bullets and bombs.
Start with King George III and General Cornwallis from 1775, then General Ross from 1812, then Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee from 1861, then Kaiser Wilhelm and King Victor Emmanuel from 1918, then Hitler and Tojo, then Kim Il-sung, then Ho Chi-minh. For each and every war, we must also try every single one of the alleged enlisted men and alleged sailors on the allegedly opposing side. Since all of those men are dead, we'll need to have several years of preliminary hearings for each of these ten million trials, to appoint a Dream Team of high-voltage lawyers for each alleged in absentia defendant.
Finally, after we find all of those alleged defendants innocent and give their families appropriate Punitive Damages, we'll be done.
No. We're already done. Finished. Squashed. Fucked.
We were fucked on 9/12/01 when Sultan Bush decided not to obliterate the Arabian Peninsula. At that point we surrendered, so it doesn't matter what happens now. ¶ 5:20 AM
Start with King George III and General Cornwallis from 1775, then General Ross from 1812, then Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee from 1861, then Kaiser Wilhelm and King Victor Emmanuel from 1918, then Hitler and Tojo, then Kim Il-sung, then Ho Chi-minh. For each and every war, we must also try every single one of the alleged enlisted men and alleged sailors on the allegedly opposing side. Since all of those men are dead, we'll need to have several years of preliminary hearings for each of these ten million trials, to appoint a Dream Team of high-voltage lawyers for each alleged in absentia defendant.
Finally, after we find all of those alleged defendants innocent and give their families appropriate Punitive Damages, we'll be done.
No. We're already done. Finished. Squashed. Fucked.
We were fucked on 9/12/01 when Sultan Bush decided not to obliterate the Arabian Peninsula. At that point we surrendered, so it doesn't matter what happens now. ¶ 5:20 AM
