The Triliteral Omission conspiracy
Texas is completing its schoolbook requirements, most of which are pretty good. For instance, they require WW2 history to include the thousands of Krauts and Italians who were interned, as opposed to the standard propaganda that focuses entirely on the Jap internment in order to play the race card.
In plain fact we rounded up everyone who seemed likely to be spies or saboteurs, and it
worked. Of course we know better now. Under Bush and Obama we round up, strap down and disarm everyone who is likely to be pro-American, and give special high-class privileges and security clearances to enemy agents. This works very well for the enemy.
But Texas surrendered on one small idiotic point:
But Democrats showed more life than they had all day when Republican David Bradley tried to refer to the first black president as Barack Hussein Obama.
"The intent behind what you're doing, I think is pretty obvious," said Republican Bob Craig, urging Bradley to withdraw the suggestion.
"Please Mr. Bradley, don't use the middle name," said Democrat Lawrence Allen. "You know it's going to have a negative connotation in the press. Yes, it's his birth name, but you know the significance it will play in the press. We don't have to deal with it."
Finally Bradley relented. "To put an end to the whining I withdraw the motion," he said.
Well, fine. But that's not enough. In the name of equal rights, we have to apply this to everyone!
Presidents of the US, in modern censored form:
George Washington
John Adams
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
James Monroe
John Adams (known as John Adams to distinguish him from John Adams)
Andrew Jackson
Martin Buren
William Harrison
John Tyler
James Polk
Zachary Taylor
Millard Fillmore
Franklin Pierce
James Buchanan
Abraham Lincoln
Andrew Johnson
Ulysses Grant (also known as U Grant)
Rutherford Hayes
James Garfield
Chester Arthur
Stephen Cleveland
Benjamin Harrison
Stephen Cleveland
William McKinley
Theodore Roosevelt
William Taft
Thomas Wilson
Warren Harding
Calvin Coolidge
Herbert Hoover
Franklin Roosevelt (also known as FR)
Harry Truman
David Eisenhower
John Kennedy (also known as JK)
Lyndon Johnson (also known as LJ)
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
James Carter
Ronald Reagan
George Bush (also known as GB, to distinguish him from GB)
William Clinton
George Bush (also known as GB, to distinguish him from GB)
Barack Obama (also known as BO)
= = = = =
The country itself must now be renamed "United America" or UA.
And other notable names and events must also be de-middled. Osama Laden, New City, Pope XVI, Martin King, J Hoover, T Pickens, e cummings, Vincent Gogh, World One, World Two.
Web addresses will be much easier to type. www.aol.com becomes www.com, www.amazon.com becomes www.com, and so on.
Organizations must also drop their middle names. ABA, AMA, AAA, ASA, all merge into AA. NBA, NSA, NEA, NRA, all merge into NA.
Universities, always on the vanguard of censorship, must de-middle. FSU, KSU, OSU, PSU ---> FU, KU, OU, PU. The universities without middle names will be happy to take over the resources of the formerly triliteral colleges, which were generally the less progressive ones anyway.