Stupidest technical idea in history.
GM and Segway
Wait, stop right there.
After those first three words, we already know something fantastically stupid is coming.
But I couldn't have predicted just how breathtakingly awful it is.
Start again: GM and Segway proudly announce: The PUMA.
It goes 35 MPH max, and runs 35 miles on a battery charge.
Who in the world is going to want one of these?
Lively young folks, like the dude in the picture, wouldn't be seen dead in something so dorky. They can already ride bikes or scooters for economy. Fat old** folks simply won't fit, even if you could pry them out of their nice safe comfy Crown Vics.
And where in the world could you drive it?
Not on rough streets, not on snow and ice, not on the highway, not in rain or sleet or wind. In other words, not outside.
Which leaves us with the interior areas of malls and theme parks. And those places already have electric vehicles ranging from wheelchair-like Rascals to cute Cushman mini-pickups.
35 MPH and 35 miles on a charge... yessir, this is hi-tech progress. The electric cars of a HUNDRED DAMNED YEARS AGO
could run THREE TIMES AS FAR on a charge, for Christ's sake, and they did it with elegance and grace. Nothing dorky about a Rauch & Lang
or a Detroit Electric.
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Sidenote: Polistra, who has been behind the scenes lately, pops in to emphasize that she's not ridiculing the idea of electric cars. She loves the idea of electric cars, provided the cars are appealing and practical.
For instance, why couldn't we build an electric Bantam?
Trouble is, GM has made the idea look
ridiculous by announcing this Segway silliness. Polistra wonders: Was that the real purpose of the announcement? Hmm.
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** I'm reminded of a famous quote from Bunkie Knudsen,
GM's sales manager in its glory days. "You can sell a young man's car to an old man, but you can't sell an old man's car to a young man." Well, is this strange PUMA thing a young man's car or an old man's car? Worst of both worlds. It looks like a wheelchair, but only an athlete can drive it.