Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monkey, Meteor, Mafia
Three of today's top news stories share a common quality.
1. The monkey who killed a woman. "Everyone thinks monkeys are cute; it's surprising and shocking to see a monkey turn violent!" No, anyone who has watched monkeys in a zoo knows they're not cute. They're vicious, noisy, capable of sudden violence.
2. The mysterious UFO in Texas. "What could this be? The government says it's probably a meteor, but it looks like an alien craft." No, anyone who has watched a meteor shower recognizes this instantly as a meteor. Some UFOs are truly mysterious, truly look and behave like strange rockets or aircraft. Not this one.
3. The response of Wall Street to the final signing of Obama's stimulus package. "Wall Street doesn't like it, so we're starting to doubt whether it will work." No, anyone who has watched Wall Street knows that it's just a criminal syndicate. If a Mafia dislikes what you're doing, you must be doing something right. Doesn't matter if it's the Italian Mafia, the Russian Mafia, or the Jewish Mafia.
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In a more serious vein, the stimulus package does contain some genuinely good and long-overdue elements. Especially: Assistance for railroads and mass transit, and the switch to computerized medical records. ¶ 3:54 PM
1. The monkey who killed a woman. "Everyone thinks monkeys are cute; it's surprising and shocking to see a monkey turn violent!" No, anyone who has watched monkeys in a zoo knows they're not cute. They're vicious, noisy, capable of sudden violence.
2. The mysterious UFO in Texas. "What could this be? The government says it's probably a meteor, but it looks like an alien craft." No, anyone who has watched a meteor shower recognizes this instantly as a meteor. Some UFOs are truly mysterious, truly look and behave like strange rockets or aircraft. Not this one.
3. The response of Wall Street to the final signing of Obama's stimulus package. "Wall Street doesn't like it, so we're starting to doubt whether it will work." No, anyone who has watched Wall Street knows that it's just a criminal syndicate. If a Mafia dislikes what you're doing, you must be doing something right. Doesn't matter if it's the Italian Mafia, the Russian Mafia, or the Jewish Mafia.
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In a more serious vein, the stimulus package does contain some genuinely good and long-overdue elements. Especially: Assistance for railroads and mass transit, and the switch to computerized medical records. ¶ 3:54 PM
