Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Saying it without saying it
Colin Powell appeared on Leno's show last night, and gave a good explanation of the civil war in Iraq. Along the way he said:
"The Kurds are pretty much in a calmer part of the country, up north."
Hmm. Kurdistan must be an amazing place: a land that actually keeps its people calm. Sort of like the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where cigarettes grow on trees, fresh-cooked meals appear when you feel hungry, and willing women offer their services for free on every corner.
No, I doubt that the land itself is the source of calmness. High desert is rather unforgiving territory.
So it has to be some characteristic of the people.
Well, is it religion? Are the Kurds Quakers? Are they Amish? No, they're Mohammedan like the rest of Iraq. I think they're mostly Sunni, but might be wrong about that.
Is it chemical? Are the Kurds permanently popping Prozac? Or nicely mellowed out on Kirkuk Krank?
I doubt that too. They seem to be capable of getting things done.
Hmm. Well, the only remaining possibility, as Sherlock would say, is that Kurds are not Arabs.
Pinnnnngggg!
So Powell knows the difference; he just can't bring himself to say it.
------
A bit later, still thinking about Powell....
The eponymous Powell Doctrine is a good guide for fighting a war, and in fact for doing anything important.
The Powell Doctrine:
1. Determine what you want to accomplish.
2. Accomplish it, hard and fast.
3. Go home.
Powell had two chances to apply this doctrine. The results were unsatisfying because the goals were inadequate: Push Saddam back from Kuwait, push Milosevic back from Bosnia. But within the range of Powell's authority, he fulfilled his doctrine solidly.
The Bush Doctrine is rather more complicated:
1. Determine what you want to accomplish.
2. Accompl .... uuuuuhhhh, where was I?
3. Get confused. Decide the enemy isn't all that bad; maybe he had a traumatic childhood or something, and needs to be rewarded instead of punished. Increase his self-esteem.
4. When your own people criticize you for rewarding the enemy, call them racists.
¶ 6:16 AM
"The Kurds are pretty much in a calmer part of the country, up north."
Hmm. Kurdistan must be an amazing place: a land that actually keeps its people calm. Sort of like the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where cigarettes grow on trees, fresh-cooked meals appear when you feel hungry, and willing women offer their services for free on every corner.
No, I doubt that the land itself is the source of calmness. High desert is rather unforgiving territory.
So it has to be some characteristic of the people.
Well, is it religion? Are the Kurds Quakers? Are they Amish? No, they're Mohammedan like the rest of Iraq. I think they're mostly Sunni, but might be wrong about that.
Is it chemical? Are the Kurds permanently popping Prozac? Or nicely mellowed out on Kirkuk Krank?
I doubt that too. They seem to be capable of getting things done.
Hmm. Well, the only remaining possibility, as Sherlock would say, is that Kurds are not Arabs.
Pinnnnngggg!
So Powell knows the difference; he just can't bring himself to say it.
------
A bit later, still thinking about Powell....
The eponymous Powell Doctrine is a good guide for fighting a war, and in fact for doing anything important.
The Powell Doctrine:
1. Determine what you want to accomplish.
2. Accomplish it, hard and fast.
3. Go home.
Powell had two chances to apply this doctrine. The results were unsatisfying because the goals were inadequate: Push Saddam back from Kuwait, push Milosevic back from Bosnia. But within the range of Powell's authority, he fulfilled his doctrine solidly.
The Bush Doctrine is rather more complicated:
1. Determine what you want to accomplish.
2. Accompl .... uuuuuhhhh, where was I?
3. Get confused. Decide the enemy isn't all that bad; maybe he had a traumatic childhood or something, and needs to be rewarded instead of punished. Increase his self-esteem.
4. When your own people criticize you for rewarding the enemy, call them racists.
¶ 6:16 AM
